Here’s What Went Down At The Client Liaison Fashion Week Show

Parked outside is an off-white limousine - but of course. An Australian flag is flying high as is customary with diplomatic vehicles and a Diplomatic Immunity LP sits on the dashboard, gleaming under the Overseas Passenger Terminal’s lights. 

But no! The show is running 45 minutes late. Those of us who have arrived nice and early decide the brisk cold air isn’t really the place to hang out for nearly an hour - fashionable, though slightly weather-inappropriate outfits and all - so Cruise Bar is the place we kill time with some classy cocktails and appetisers. Client Liaison would be proud.

The runway itself is a surprise - a long panel of red earthy dirt flowing out from two elevators, with shrubbery and old inflatable rafts decorating the sides every few metres or so. Two to three rows of farshun influencers and the like get to watch the show seated - the coveted front row have what looks like Client Liaison stickers and a mini goodie bag already waiting on their seats. The soundtrack’s very atmospheric - forgive me for not knowing my native bird calls, but you can hear some bird calling along with the rustling of trees and a didgeridoo, ringing out over the bustle of the show. 

And suddenly the lights dim and we’re back in the ‘80s, and a deep voice sets the scene. We’re enjoying waffles, oysters, cocktails and the like, all sophisticated fare to set the corporate-executives-on-a-weekend-retreat tone. 

The soundtrack is boisterous and loud and we’re hearing songs like INXS’s Need You Tonight, Janet Jackson’s Runaway and Enya’s Orinoco Flow, as more than a dozen models strut out in casual linens, drapey coats, worn faded denim, dusty reds, ochres and deep blues like a preppy Australiana version of retro Tommy Hilfiger.

There’s tasselled boots, some sort of rusty golden fabric used for a skirt, a series of very cosy looking sweatshirts and hoodies with CLDL logos emblazoned on them, windcheaters with a cheeky “mini bar: fully stocked” written on the back of the collars and a Gorman-esque print of frilled lizards, eskies, waratahs & native birds that show up on suits, jumpsuits and button-up shirts.

There’s also swimwear - a couple of the guys rock budgie smugglers (will this help make them acceptable again? It remains to be seen) and there’s a particularly cool ladies’ one-piece with “fantasy” written in gold on the front - the back says “is truth”. They also seem to be inspired by rotary club motifs and our returned servicemen - the last look is actually a white mini-dress absolutely covered in what looks like veteran medals, glinting and swinging in the light. 

And then the lifts open and Client Liaison themselves are out on the runway wearing the line, straight into new single Survival In The City. Monte Morgan’s in a leather (or pleather?) harness with huge structured shoulders and tasselled pants, while Harvey Miller’s wearing more of a mini cape in the same shiny white material.

They jaunt and gallivant all the way down the runway until this is pretty much no longer a fashion show but a dance party. It soon turns into Off White Limousine with Tom Tilley and Geordie Miller, and now there’s synchronised dancing! The attendees - who mostly seem like they work in the fashion industry rather than in music - seem surprised and delighted by the whole thing. It’s kitschy and extra as hell - they even pop a bottle of champagne! - but this is the classy, excessive life they embody. And tonight we’re taking a little cajh step back - tonight’s not about the ‘80s corporate hustle, but about what we do on a dusty Friday arvo to wind down at the beach house.